Helpful Nations
by HappeDaez
Summary: “Ah…formatting, out of character, names, and…” Japan paused as he read off the list. “…Why is lemon written here in such big letters?” France, Canada and Japan give advice to authors. Sex and jokes ensue.
1. Chapter 1:Canada, France, Japan

Helpful Nations

_Disclaimer: I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia._

_A/N: Hey, guys. I saw a couple of really lovely fics that had one or more of these problems. So if you want some help with the summery, OC's, whatever. I tried my best to make it interesting. X3_

_Also, look for the window-sex later. ~_

* * *

"So, I noticed that you guys needed some help. Well, here we are to help!" Canada offered weakly, gesturing towards a large whiteboard behind him.

Next to him, France and Japan smirked and bowed respectively. They were assembled in the conference room, and except for them, the room was void of other nations.

Japan began, getting right into it. "You see, Author-san has noticed that some authors for the Hetalia fandom have problems similar to other fandom's, as well as issues unique to the Hetalia fandom."

France nodded, and leaned back in his stuffed chair, twirling a rose seductively between two fingers.

"_Oui_, so we are here to help you." The French nation purred, making it sound like some sort of sex offer rather than a friendly suggestion. He swiveled the chair, and let his eyes rest suggestively on Canada.

"_Mathieu_, would you like to start?" He asked. Canada nodded, smiling nervously at the suggestive glance.

Canada turned towards the front of the room. "Okay, I guess I should start at…" He put a finger on his chin, tapping it. "Ah, summaries, I suppose." He went over to the board and picked up a marker with a blue cap. He uncapped it and wrote the word summaries in capitals.

"Okay, so many people seem to be at a loss when it comes to summing up the wonderful work they do, and without a good summery, unfortunately the author's hard work isn't usually read because of this."

He wrote 'summery ideas' below the previously written word, this time in the normal grammar of lowercase.

"The best suggestion is to look for what other good authors do."

He turned around and put his arm down from writing.

"Ah, Japan? Would you like to help me elaborate?" He asked politely.

Japan nodded. "One thing many people do is to put a line from the text of the story, usually a funny or interesting one." He walked over to Canada, and his face turned slightly pink in hesitation of what he was about to do. "One of the lines that work best are dialogue that suggests… sexual activity."

"Canada-san…" Japan murmured lowly, draping his arms about the taller nation, bringing his face up towards him, eyes half-lidded. His face was flushed and his lips slightly parted. "Matthew..."

Canada bent down slightly to meet him, his head tilted to the left, his face flushed, but not as much as the black-haired nation hugging him.

Japan let one of his hands drift slowly to the hem of the blonde nation's shirt, letting his fingers drift under the piece of cream-colored fabric, feeling the smooth skin underneath the garment.

"J-Japan…" He murmured, quiet but accepting.

"Whoo! Do it!" France cried from his place on the chair. "I want to see who tops!"

The two broke away hastily, both very red and hair slightly disheveled.

"Ahem…" Japan coughed, looking very much like someone who was caught getting far too much into something he was pretending to do. "Anyway, using most of the dialogue from something…like that should bring in a significant amount of readers."

Canada straightened his shirt and nodded. He ran a hand through his hand and ignored France's blatantly lusty stare when his shirt reveled an inch of skin as he lifted his hand.

"This is sort of a baiting summery; it works quite well most of the time."

France grinned. "_Mon Cheri_, I think we haven't shown them enough of what the baiting summery is…" he let his gaze linger on the embarrassed Japanese standing at the other end of the board as well.

Japan cleared his throat again and began speaking once more.

"Ah, we're alright France-san." He took a green marker and uncapped it. "Actually, that brings us to our next subject. He wrote the words '_gratuitous French_' on the board in neat, perfect English.

"This does not only apply to French, but also to Russian, Spanish, Italian, and almost all other languages." Canada added.

Japan nodded quickly and began speaking once more. "While a small amount of any language is fine, and usually welcomed by readers, sometimes the amount and difficulty of the words used causes problems."

He motioned to France.

"For instance, France-san uses French words in almost all Hetalia fan fiction pieces. And while this is fine and usually given with translations at the author's note, sometimes it is too much."

France nodded. "_Si je parle français depuis trop longtemps, mon amoureux peu ne peut pas savoir lorsque j'ai frappé sur eux. " _France commented smirking, sending Canada and Japan smoldering looks._ "Qui serait triste."_

Canada blushed bright red while Japan looked on confusedly. "Uh…Canada-san?" Japan asked, pulling on Canada's sleeve.

"Could you please translate?"

Canada nodded, but looked much like he would _much_ rather not.

"France said, 'If I speak French for too long," Canada paused and sighed, but continued, "Then my…little lovers will not know when I hit on them." Canada twitched and finished. "Which would be sad."

Japan looked away embarrassed, while Canada huffed and looked at France with an exasperated look.

France smiled. "Things like Japan saying '-san' at the end of country and human names is acceptable in most cases."

He leaned on one arm. "However, other words such as 'doujinshi', 'tsundere', or 'moe' should be explained, as they are not known to all the fandom, and will cause confusion. An explanation at the end will solve most problems, but keeping your extensive J-pop culture knowledge and such to yourself is advised."

Japan raised his hand and added his input.

"Also, just for reference, a _doujinshi _isa fan-made comic based on a published work, a tsundere is…" Here he paused and smiled fondly.

"England; and _moe_ basically means anything cute."

Canada smiled. "Just in case you don't know England, basically a person who never states they're feelings outright and blushes quite a bit, usually. They have two modes, '_tsun'_ and '_dere'_. Tsun is when they're being abusive, sort of. Dere is when they blush a lot but still don't admit they have feelings for an American nation…" Here Canada trailed off and cleared his throat. "I mean someone they love."

France grinned and gracefully got up from his chair, snickering at Canada's obvious mention of the two countries 'special relationship'.

"I will take the next topic." He declared, picking up a red marker. He wrote the words 'authors notes' on the board.

"Author's notes and the other words before the story should try to be brief and if possible, separated by a line…" He drew a single long line across his part of the board. "To make reading easier on the eyes. Also, make sure you don't bold the text for the story by accident."

"If you wish to thank reviewers, go ahead!" He said, smiling widely. "Just make sure that you don't thank so many people it raises your word count from, say, five-hundred words to a thousand."

"If it's something important like the fact the story is an AU, and then put it in the note." France paused. "What else is there?" He questioned the room in general.

Canada looked thoughtfully at the board before answering.

"Ah, how about OC's?"

Japan nodded. "Right."

France thoughtfully started drawing on the board.

Japan continued. "Original characters are quite fun, but should be kept in moderation and justification."

"While they are quite fun to make, and with many major countries left un-Hetalia'd, there are many places such as Brazil, Portugal, or any of America's fifty states to make a character for."

"While this is usually comes out alright, sometimes it can be annoying when you randomly make up a number of OC's, it can be quite a driving force away from your piece of work. So try to keep OC's research based and relevant to the story."

France spoke once more. "_Oui_. Now, Japan…I'm quite tired, I vote for taking a break."

Japan nodded in agreement. "Canada-san, may we take lunch now?"

Canada nodded, smiling. "Okay."

The three ate lunch and resumed right after finishing.

"Okay!" France said cheerfully, getting on with it. "What else is left?"

"Ah…formatting, out of character, human names, and…" Japan paused as he read off the list. "…Why is lemon written here in such big letters?"

France grinned. "Because it's important. We're going to take a field trip to explain how it should be done."

Japan twitched. Canada inched to the other side of the room slowly.

"Um…anyway. Formatting." Canada said. "You should space your words so they aren't all one paragraph. However, how often you do this is up to you."

"Bold text or italicized text can drive readers away if it's just normal story with the bold or italicized. For memories, italicized text tends to work best. Bold really isn't used much else except occasionally the author's note."

France leaned over Japan and took a look at the list. "Next is out of character."

"When a character is out of character, it can be quite varied and can also be mostly a matter of opinion. For instance, how often Poland says like is up to the author."

"Like, totally." Canada said, imitating the blond nation. He smiled good naturedly.

Japan smiled at the joke. "Characters should have the main traits and same hair colors, etc."

Canada nodded. "If the author includes them, the character will probably mostly be in character, eh."

France nodded. "Moving on, character names."

Canada nodded. "If you use them, make sure to have the right ones."

Japan chimed in quietly. "If you don't know them, use Google or other people's work to find out the names."

"Just for convenience, Canada is Matthew Williams, France is Francis Bonnefoy, and I am Kiku Honda." Japan said. "Many nations have last names, America has a middle name as well, I believe." He paused. "I don't know it, however." He looked over expectantly at Canada.

Canada blinked with realization. "Oh, right. It's Alfred F. Jones."

"What does the F stand for?" France asked curiously.

Canada blushed slightly. "I actually don't know. I just know it's F…"

Japan nodded. "America-san's middle name is just F."

France shrugged. "Okay." He looked again at the list and grinned. "Next are lemons."

Canada and Japan paled. France grinned predatorily.

"We're taking a field trip! ~" He sang. He nearly skipped out the door, beckoning the others to follow him, which they did with great hesitation.

* * *

"Why are we at America's house?" Canada asked, pointedly staring at the window they where crouched under.

"Because this is obviously the best place to find help with a lemon!" France said, grinning. Japan said nothing, but held his small digital camera with the eye of an experienced hunter. He turned.

"To anyone who doesn't know, lemon means sex." Japan whispered. "…and in this case, male sex."

He quieted as the three voyeurs heard a muffled noise from inside the house.

France grinned.

"Alright!" He whispered. He got up slowly and peered through the side of the window. His grin became larger, and Japan nodded confidently and turned on his camera.

Canada turned red, but slowly inched up until he could see into the window. His eyes widened and he gasped, throwing a hand over his mouth.

"I didn't know England could bend like that!" He whispered loudly. Japan took a picture.

"There is no wrong way to write a lemon." Japan said, sounding like an all-knowing old man. "Implied lemons, "PWP"or porn without plot, smut, cross-dressing, cat ears, _objects_…" Canada stared as Japan went on obliviously. "Threesomes, crack pairings, same gender, different gender, wall lemons, loving lemons, hate lemons, angry lemons, a story with nothing but lemons, taking pictures…" At this he held up his camera lovingly and snapped another shot at the same time a louder noise came from inside.

Canada stared, his mouth open. _I…I'm surrounded by perverts! _His fear only increased as France discreetly groped his butt cheerfully.

Japan held the camera up to his eye. "Because everyone has a little bit of France in them, detail is very good when writing lemons."

A slow, evil smirk overtook the normally calm man's face. "…_Very_ good."

Canada sat below the door, rocking back and forth with his ears covered by his hands. "I do not hear my brother having sex with England…I do _not_ hear my brother having sex with England…"

France leaned over Canada, finally tearing his eyes away from the delicious sight in front of him. "Hey…_Mathieu_…" He murmured huskily. He put his arm around the traumatized nation. Canada looked up, his face flushed and wide eyes.

"W-what?" He asked, embarrassed. It was his _brother_ in there…!

"It's okay, alright?" France told the shorter nation, sitting next to him with his arm around him. He let their bodies go close together, enjoying the feel of Canada's compact form.

"But…where listening to them have…y'know…in there." Canada finished awkwardly. Beside them, Japan turned the camera on them.

"Emotional back story makes the lemon more satisfying." Japan whispered and he took a nice shot of France hugging Canada comfortingly.

France tilted Canada's chin up with one hand, a loving look in his eyes. He let his other hand hold onto the small of Canada's back, and he gently pushed him down to the ground, making sure that Canada was comfortable first.

Letting himself lean further down onto Canada, France looked into Canada's eyes as he traced his parted lips with a finger.

Japan hummed cheerfully, taking pictures from various angles.

Above them, the window shook dangerously.

Japan, Canada, and France looked up to be graced with the attractive sight of England's ass pressed against the glass. America was on the other side of him, hands wrapped around the English man's torso.

The moans where louder now, and the glass shuddered dangerously.

America and England where too engrossed in their activities to notice the rapid-fire pictures Japan took as well as the fleeing of the three to avoid being seen by America, who was focusing on creaking a hickey on England's neck.

Back at the conference room, Canada fought to catch his breath.

"I-huh-think they didn't see us." He said, breathing heavily.

Japan nodded. He smiled as he scrolled through his pictures on his camera. "413."

France pouted. "I was interrupted." He sent a lazy seductive glance towards Canada, who flushed and looked away.

"A-anyway, thank you for reading this and I hope that these tips help you with your story writing!" Canada said, waving.

Japan looked up.

"Hey, Canada-san. Could you possibly pose for pictures in a school uniform?"

At Canada's blank stare, Japan edited his question.

"A female school uniform?"

* * *

_A/N: XD SO much fun. Review so I have an excuse to write more! ~_


	2. Chapter 2:Hong Kong is Helpful, too

Hong Kong walked over to the podium, calm and emotionless like usual. Shuffling over, he pulled the microphone a few inches down ward.

"Hey, guys." He said, reading off of a white note card. "This is a message from the author."

He held the card up higher, and read off of it in a complete monotone.

"So, I was planning on a second chapter of Helpful Nations, but have no ideas so I was hoping that you, the readers could give some advice."

He flipped it over.

"Please list things you have trouble with in a review, and I'll try to include them in the story. I already have my first topic, writing reviews. Thank you."

Hong Kong let the card flutter to the ground, and walked off the stage.


End file.
